tagged with: humor

We’re a strange tribe, we people who can afford airline tickets and laptops, but not decent batteries.

You’ll notice that “Books” weren’t high on our list. They’re deep in “Everything Else”, somewhere between “Sports” and “Toe Cheese”. (Listen Magazine, 2004 October)

Of course, if you tell everyone you’re going to go talk to a rock, some folks will say things like, “But rocks don’t talk!” or “Are you feeling okay?” or “Rocks are only good for eating!” Don’t worry. They’re wrong. Rocks can talk.

Finalist, 2001 Christopher Video Contest
AGAPE: What’s the matter, buddy? You look sad.
STINKY: I always look sad.
AGAPE: That’s cause your face is drawn on.

Charlotte’s Web has a fast turnover rate due to the high-pressure nature of the industry, and so Ingrid actually has been with the company for longer than anyone else, including the CEO, White Cloud von Wigstein.

The only show that gives you the TRUE Catholic perspective on hot, contemporary issues from the afterlife to pattern baldness—-and everything in between!

INT. HALLWAY, NEAR VENDING MACHINE
MEL gets a drink from machine. MARK stands there.
On drink is a paper reading, "Melchizidek, you are going to die."
MARK: Must be some other Melchizidek.

The ozone is nearly gone. It can only be saved by your preventive measures. Smoke with the lit end in your mouth. Reduce harmful car emissions by driving in reverse.

..along with most of my other staples of life—you know, my bed, coffee-flavored pop-tarts, clothes, paper clips, and my autographed copy of The Collected Works of Anonymous.

I have to say that Brother David is the only monk I have ever known who, a few minutes after meeting you, rolls up his left sleeve and proceeds to tell you the story of the 8-inch scar embedded in his forearm.

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