As a well-informed American, you must take it into your own hands to defend the environment. Selfish behavior in the last fifty years has caused widespread depletion of vital natural resources such as coal, iron, Valencia oranges, coffee-flavored Ovaltine, and talented college DJ’s. The list of endangered species continues to grow, now encompassing the spotted owl, the spotted zebra, the Southern Californian, the ant, the American ‘fro eagle, and trees. The ozone is nearly gone. It can only be saved by your preventive measures. Smoke with the lit end in your mouth. Reduce harmful car emissions by driving in reverse. America, we beg you, take action! If you don’t do anything, prominent scientists predict that, by the year 1983, the entire world will just blow up. Now are you concerned?